Say What You Feel!
You feel so many things. Which feelings do you believe will get the result you want with the listener? If someone stands you up for an appointment, and you are angry, frustrated, offended, and surprised, which feeling do you believe they will respond to best?
Remember—a PowerPhrase is as strong as it needs to be and not stronger. Ask yourself which emotions most closely match the situation and will work for the results you seek.
There are situations where you might choose to omit your feelings; however, in far more situations they will improve your results.
For example, imagine I interrupt you while you are working and my interruptions frustrate you.
If your message to me is,
You will save yourself time if you ask me all your questions at once.
I won’t understand that I am creating a problem for you. I might not stop. Say,
The interruptions frustrate me.
I need to know exactly why you want me to stop interrupting you.
If your jokes offend me, and I say,
You might not want to tell that joke anymore.
You won’t understand and are less likely to stop than if I say,
Ouch. That joke really hurt.
If I want you to stop making your jokes, I need to tell you I am
hurt by them.